Reflections

Didn't realize the first post of 2017 was today, and we are already five months into the year.

The past five months have been excruciatingly painful. It is so, so, so tough to wake up every day, have a slight disappointment that I'm not sick, think about how much work will come that day and how we're short of people... again.Same old story every time for 2 years -- that's when you stop wondering about when the change will come and make the change yourself. Despite the amazing 18 days in Nepal and finishing the Everest Base Camp trek (woohoo!), I still have no idea how I pulled through the past few months -- felt like a year.

My current boss asked me during the re-interview: "Do you think you're a passionate person?" I honestly answered "no". Passion to me is something that comes and goes -- it's an emotion after all. All work, no matter how enjoyable, will always have its daily or weekly grinds, just things you don't like doing but you know you have to. It certainly wasn't passion that made me grit my teeth and walk through the past 5 months of shattered glass; it certainly wasn't passion that ensured I put in every effort to perform or outperform despite the new scoring system that I don't agree with; and it certainly wasn't passion that made sure I came to work every day no matter how I had to drag myself out of bed or how much I just wanted to play the "sick" card like how I know so many others do. Passion will follow along when I work on something with a purpose and put in the hours to become good at it, and make a meaningful change.

Excited and somewhat nervous to see how this path pans out, and crossing my fingers that I will be able to walk this uncharted personal path with grace and humility.

Ajaja fighting!

Bits of excitement

Sharing a few things I'm excited about recently

1) A sudden urge to matchmake a good friend at work with an acquaintance I met for just 1.5 hours at the airport a few days ago. 

- Challenges: I don't know the guy well and don't know if he's actively looking. And oh, they're based in different countries -- Singapore and Taiwan... but that's the interesting part isn't it? Thinking of how to get them together in a situation where things can grow organically. 

- I started planting a small seed with my friend, who is the guy's good friend, but then I thought to just let it sit there since I couldn't figure out how best to proceed. But! speaking with xx today, I have renewed confidence in this because she laughingly reminded me that hers was one I had a hand in too (which I'd forgotten). 

2) New team, new structure, new expectations 

- Trying to get back into the groove but with new factors and expectations to contend with. Fully aware that the dynamics and expectations for me have changed quite a bit from the past rotation, with a focus on something new that I'm not sure I'm good at yet -- building work relationships with management. Interesting times ahead...

3) Counseling 

- A friend asked for advice on whether he should pre-empt his manager for a possible reference call check. One of the things I said: "Try to trust people's good nature, but also make the effort to remind them of it" ;) 

- Maybe I can consider career counseling next time... Haha.

4) Solo backpacking trip?
- For some reason I started thinking of taking a solo trip to Nagoya or Taiwan. Perhaps inspired by Amy's 90SGD ticket from Singapore to Gold Coast, or the recent APL reunion at I's wedding, or xx's question on what backpack to get? Who knows...