What pain are you willing to take on?

I finally tendered.

On a sidenote, although my digestive system has always been super steady I have been having some digestion problems on and off for about two years now. I always thought it might have been a growing lactose intolerance but now I am just sure beyond doubt that my job is not good for my health. 2 weeks in Finland I was fine, as were the past two weeks in Turkey. But two days back at work and it started up again. I am so glad I have finally sorted it out. Being sedentary for most of the day is really terrible for health, not sure how some people manage it...

Oh well five more weeks and I am out!

Marinated Salmon

Sometimes I surprise myself with my random, ingenous dishes that are whipped up out of the blue. Like tonight's salmon fillet concoction. The fillet seemed to have freezer frost and could not thaw properly so I decided to experiment with it. Since the mains for tonight was a second round of delicate wantons in seaweed and cabbage soup, Asian theme it was. Teriyaki came to mind but I always found it too sweet so while I kept the main sweet and salty tones, I dialled down the sugary part and included sour notes. "Recipe" as follows:

Marinate/soak salmon fillet in mixture of tsuyu, yuzu sauce, maple syrup, a little bit of soya sauce, and a few drops of lemon sauce. The key here was 適当に "tekitouni"　- as you wished. Leave the fillet to absorb the flavours for a few hours.

Make cuts on the skin side and pan fry skin side down with a little bit of oil first (best to first pat dry skin with kitchen towel). Flip over once skin is cooked and pour marinade into pan, not to cover the fillet but just enough to help fleshy part cook. Add a little water if necessary.

The salmon was major yums, even the picky mum said so. The sauce was super delicious with some noodles and I am sure it would be.amazing with steamed white rice.

On Perfection

This article espouses simplicity in corporate branding for success. I think the same applies to anything else. Aside from that, this quote from the author of The Little Prince is especially beautiful:

French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery expressed the simplicity principle elegantly when he said, “Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

Eudaimonia

What's it like to have an IQ of 150? Is life really super easy? 

In all honesty, I think the question above is moot. Whether life is easy or not, is something that has, in my opinion, very little to do with intelligence. It has a lot more to do with attitude, kindness and compassion. 

Despite the silly question and some self-centred answers, I have learnt something new from Quora - the term and concept of  "eudaimonia". 

This guy on Quora explains it like this: 

"[A]im for eudaimonia, Aristotle's term for the happiness in life that arises out of fulfillment.  To be fulfilled, you must do things you like. You must associate with people, professional and personally, whom you respect and who offer something to you.  You can be that solitary preacher inveighing against others or promoting something, but if you receive nothing back you become quickly an emptied vessel.  If you find those more intelligent than you, have the self-confidence to welcome them and to learn from them. Otherwise you'll be sitting atop the mountain and you may very well be a God, but whom precisely will you be ruling?"

Love it. :) 

Credit

Received some wonderful advice from a previous colleague today:

Credit is not only given by your boss. Do not wait for your boss to give you credit. There could be many others observing - and you never know when they might need you.

Challenging the "People quit because of their boss" paradigm

Came across an article that challenges the paradigm of "people quit because of their direct boss". Very insightful and thought-provoking for me right now.

This is Why People Leave Your Company 

"There’s a persistent trope in the HR world that the main reason people leave is because they don’t get along with their manager. Despite its prevalence in the corporate zeitgeist, “That’s actually pretty rare,” says Guthrie. Generally, almost everyone gets a sense of mismatched chemistry during the hiring process. If someone leaves because of their boss, that’s a failure in the company’s hiring process—an employee didn’t get enough exposure to their boss during the process, or alternatively, if there’s a history of subordinates leaving, their boss was the bad hire in the first place.

There is, however, one big reason employees may leave on account of their manager: Loss of confidence—in them or the company. “Let’s say you’ve had a couple of pivots and you just don’t believe in the company or concept anymore. You lose confidence in the marketability or leadership,” says Guthrie. A company’s leadership needs to be aware of these potential undercurrents in their organization, and should deal with them head on. Otherwise, your best and brightest will be on the lookout for opportunities to jump ship."

"Employers often forget that looking for a job is an exhausting process, and people only consider that route if they’re truly not content where they are. “If you’re really happy at work, you’re not interested in going down that road. You want to go home. You want to have dinner with your friends. You don’t want to figure out how to arrange your work schedule to take an interview. Nobody wants that if they’re already satisfied.”"

Touche. 

On Tardiness

I am this person right now... the person who is tardy every few days for just a couple of minutes but never too late; the person who consistently stays late and churns out quality work; the person who's pushing the line, just a little bit. I know it is happening and I know the root cause, but I am not motivated to fix it. Since people like me exist in the world, in future, how should this be managed?

Interesting perspectives found here: http://www.quora.com/I-have-a-staff-member-who-produces-brilliant-work-but-is-consistently-late-every-single-day-I-cant-fire-him-because-it-will-take-months-to-find-someone-to-fill-his-position-What-can-I-do

Particular favourite:


"Everyone seems to be making the point of judging work over hours.  And that's the right point, but in the Details it's clear you understand it.

But it's still inconvenient.  Here's a trick a former manager used to change behavior: focus on what his goals are, instead of yours.  

My manager would talk to us in one-on-ones and learned what was important and where we wanted to go.  And then he'd be frank: "No one's going to take a CEO seriously if he can't make it in for a 10am meeting",  "If you want to run your own team, you need to show an ability to communicate goals regularly", "Product will follow your suggestions if you can bring them into your thought process and work, rather than just tell them a result".

Notice what he didn't do there: "I need you to do this because I want it."

Find out what goal your star employee has, those are the only things he'll be motivated by.  This is especially useful for people with lots of options, I get a recruiter a day right now so if someone threatened to fire me over something so inane I'd laugh."

The Five Most Powerful Habits

Quora has a treasure trove of good advice, from what I assume are people speaking from real-life experiences. This is one of the gems.

It was able to summarise, in five simple phrases, basically what I have been attempting to do over the past 2 years. Unfortunately - or fortunately that I found out this early - the reason why I have not always succeeded in all five, is also succinctly pointed out as a precursor to discussion of the five habits: "If you try doing these things at the same time, you will fail."

Touche.

Most of the points mentioned under the five habits are things I have heard or read in my quest for knowledge. However, the last point - although somewhat subconsciously done - was something that acted as a great reminder at a time when I am gnawing my gums over a possible job change. Thank you for the timely reminder.

I will start with Numero Uno. The two consecutive gym classes on Thursday and rock climbing today is a good start I believe! Ah, but panna cotta, chicken rice, and Burger King may not have been adhering to this at all. Oops.

=========

The Five Most Powerful Habits 


Important word of warning: 

"If you try doing these things at the same time you will fail. So pick one of the things mentioned below. 

Learn how to do it. Figure it out. Then spend 1 month to learn how to do this better. Practice it every day for 1 month before taking on anything else. 

After the 1 month is over this will have become your habit and you will be able to do it unconsciously. Then when you add another thing from the list below it won't seem very hard. "
The Five Habits: 

1. Take Care of Your Body 
- Spend 30 - 60 Minutes Each Day Exercising.
- Eat Food That Is Fresh & Healthy
- Play A Sport That You Like Everyday
- Avoid Junk Food

2. Take Care of Your Mind
- Read Every Day
- Write Every Day
- Develop Your Mind In Other Ways
- Avoid Junk In Your Mind

3. Take Care of Your Relationships
- Remember Birthdays & Anniversaries
- Forgive Them Before They Ask For Forgiveness
- Avoid Emotional Vampires

4. Take Care of Your Finances 
- Get Positive Cashflow
- Pay Yourself First
- Financial Sinkholes To Avoid: Biz-Op Schemes, Stock Market, Credit Cards, Lottery Schemes

5. Take Care of Your Communication
- Communicate At The 6th Grade Level
- Learn The Vocabulary Of Whatever You Are Doing

Love byte

Another gem from Quora on the best feeling in the world. Not sure if this is my best feeling in the world, but I think it captures a lot about the love and relationship I want: the peaceful feeling of being understood and accepted for who you are + romance (butterflies?).

But the real answer for me is--this peaceful feeling.

I don’t know how to describe it, it feels like most of the time my guard is a bit up, you always test and figure out how people are around you, and it’s the peaceful calming feeling that the other person knows and accepts you for you.You feel at peace at once.

I feel this with extremely close friends, and it’s an added bonus when you like someone romantically—and you feel at complete ease coupled with this peaceful feeling—that’s when I know I feel something.


====
On another note, even though I initially denied it in the quick conversation with XX this morning, I think I am attracted to FB and scared of it. My head tells me this is really not the time to be thinking about a person when you are trying to figure your life out, so draw a line! But something else was holding me back from drawing that line, because what happens in your head hardly ever occurs the same way in reality. But... I did draw the line somewhat. I hope I don't regret anything.

Funny how denial and emotions work. In the past week, there was a lot of internal struggle to actually chat with FB - because I had some burning questions about career and life - and denying that I was attracted made things all the more difficult, and conversely, he popped up more often in my thoughts! That was very annoying. Instead, admitting now to myself that yes, I am attracted to him, I want to enjoy his company, I want to understand him more, may just be the cure for that. I really don't want anything romantic right now, but I really do want to be good friends. Funny because I usually don't feel this strong desire to become good friends with people, so it's hard now to actually try and pursue a friendship.

In short, I don't know how to make friends, because I don't think I really ever purposefully did so.
I am so pathetic sometimes. Heh. 

Habit

I found this lovely little byte on Quora today.

Remember, it takes time for a thing to become a habit, but once it does, it is not easy to leave it. 
If you knock off 'H' from it still 'a bit' remains;
even if you knock off 'a' still 'bit' remains;
& even if you knock off 'b' but still 'it' remains.

Let's make some good habits! 

----
Inspired by the one mile a day workout, recently I have started running one mile every other day at the company gym during lunch hour. I've also started making friends with the weights machines again. :)

Another good habit I am trying to maintain is to drink at least 2 litres of water per day. I think it worked wonders in the one week that I did.

A bad habit to kick would be the way I constantly pick at my face and neck blemishes when I'm bored and/or frustrated! 

On careers - A chat with S

For the past few months, I've been asking lots of friends, mentors, seniors, acquaintances, colleagues, etc about their job experience and what they find is important for them in a job.

I think today's chat with S was the most powerful one - he gave advice that I already knew or thought about too, but just hearing it from someone else who has lived through it, made it that much more striking in its truth. He was able to concisely sum up many points that I have gleaned from others, from my own pensive thoughts, and from all the combined wisdom of motivational articles and quora.

=======

On what he looks for in a job: 
"At our age, benefits, salary all the tangible ones are not important. It is the opportunity and chance to expand your skill and knowledge - the intangible ones - that is important. Those ar ethings that no one can take from you. And when you have them, you can use it to demand for the tangible aspects."

"The company size does not matter as much as the opportunity to learn and grow."

"Remember, work is a two-way thing: I work for you to learn, so you should guide me and I will work my best for you."

"Invest in experience now, not money. I've seen cases where people chose money over opportunities, and because of that, they now have a lower ceiling because they are limited by their skillset."

On being poached by G-gle and rejecting them. 
"Google has better benefits, but I felt they valued IT people more than engineers, so there would be less chance for me to learn. I am more valued at my present company because it is an engineering firm that values engineers."

On what type of skills and knowledge to learn and how
"What skills you want to learn and how to learn is between you and your manager. With experience, you will have a feel of what niche you want to do. Learn more. Read more. "

 He then explained on the different safety and audit courses he wanted to take up, which he did with his manager's support, and now his manager sees the increased value in him, worries about how to propose a suitable package for him, and wants to send him to Shanghai. (SO EXCITING!)


On what to do now that I'm still only 6 months into this role: 

"I recommend that you seek joint document work from other division to make it interesting."

"Make it obvious to your manager what you are doing."


On how and what to learn from managers: 
"Learn from good managers. Some managers are high up there for a reason. Get insights from them on what their future plans are, and align with it. Support your manager in your areas of interest that align with their plan. If the manager isn't good, don't waste your time."

"Don't let your manager control what you want to learn. Volunteer for projects which interest you, get to know what other departments do, and get involved. If you don't explore, you will not know what you like. But if you explore, you will realize that you don't have the experience to do the work, so then take up work at a low level to learn from bottom up. That way, you will get the breadth and experience."

"If your managers don't allow you to grow, which I have seen, it may mean that they have a ceiling too. So how could they help you if they cannot help themselves?"


On Time

"So you need to explore outside the comfort zone - it is scary, but bloody exciting."
"At your age, time is important. Time must be wisely used to top up your experience - and the skill and experience must be of good quality that reflects the various demands of the changing environment. Money should be secondary."

"Work to gain good experience. As you get it, a wonderful thing will happen: your work results will get noticed and you will go up and get what you deserve."

>> This reminds me of advice that my other awesome mentor, L, had given me as well. She had described her own experience of holding up the team and the team manager for 2 years without any due, but it all paid off in the end because she is performing brilliantly at her current role - something she would not have been able to do without those two unrecognized years.

"Don't throw time away - it is another form of a resource. Remember, money can be earned again, but time, you cannot replace."

"You are young. There is time to fail and come back up. Don't fail at old age. It would take so much more to come back up then."


On the Importance of Multi-Functional Skills and Cross-Disciplinary Understanding

"I have seen many senior experienced professionals who are commanding a high demand for the experience they have, and they all have the same background: When they were younger they tried out many different tasks to learn multiple disciplines. From there, they climbed the corporate ladder, and now when they speak with other chiefs, they can connect and truly understand the concerns of other departments. And they get better work results exactly because of their macro understanding.


On Where to Go Next/How to Proceed Next?


"Take the next safe path. Study, take a working holiday, do an overseas internship, apply for a job overseas, contact your university alumni."

"Do your research. List down what you want to learn. See what options are out there. Consider market demand and future outlooks, and align yourself to market needs. Read market reports and head hunter reports. Read reports of what top companies look for, what sort of skilled people the local government wants."

========

I felt so fired up after this chat - all done via Whatsapp! - and I suddenly knew for sure that I needed to check out the Leaving A- page. At that point in time I was so sure that I did not want to stay any longer at company A. But after a much-needed three hour nap (thinking about life is tiring!) I think I am more rational now and I realize I do need to plot my path out. There are still things that I want to learn and can learn from the company. We will have to see how it'll go. At the same time, I've become very conscious and slightly pressured by time as well: it seems infinitely better to make a switch at 26 than at 27. Or is it just me?

Still have to chew on this. I keep swinging between the three most possible options now that it's so tiring. Every hour brings about a different conclusion. 

To-cook list!

This yummy sounding green bean casserole from: http://www.ourlifeisbeautiful.com/2013/12/thanksgiving-2013.html

+

Seaweed fritters!
- from The King of Food episode 13. :) 

Let loose!

I think this was the first time I clubbed for 3.5 straight hours and let loose like that. Two bottles of Jaegermeister (and countless Red Bulls), Macs breakfast, a 3-4 hour walk around downtown Singapore to sober up.

That was awesome!

---
This was followed by watching floorball on Saturday night, then dinner with floorball friends, and Sun Ray Cafe lunch + Art Jamming + So Pho on Sunday with the lovely BGF. I am so excited about my painting haha.

Also, I was scrolling through Facebook for some more photos to turn into paintings and bam, I stumbled across my first photo album in Japan, and stumbled across how insanely poetic I was. Wow. I surprise myself sometimes. First poetic prose for cryptic photographs and now acrylic painting?? I should be living in a hipster village next. 

Career Advice

Sometimes Quora gives fantastic career advice - it has even got me to stay put for now.

The answer below was for the question: a startup or Microsoft? But really, it can be applied to any big name companies I think I will start looking at the list of what else I can learn to do on their dime while I'm still at this company. :)

So far, I have:
- Honed my writing skills (but still far from where I want to be)
- Learned how to bring the right people together to change processes.
- To consolidate data and spot trends to provide effective feedback
- Developed phone skills - English and Mandarin.
- Picked up sufficient Business Japanese.
- Got started off in stocks and finance.
- Acquired one amazing mentor, and several wonderful friends.

====================
1. Fail and educate yourself on Microsofts dime. Don't just be a corporate drone. Work your tail off. Learn shit. Try crazy things... even if you don't get permission to do so at Microsoft. See what sticks. At Microsoft I managed my career as if management were my VCs. 

• I used their "funding" to work on cool stuff that I wanted to learn.
• I learned how to manage people (and fail at managing people) without having to pay them myself.
• I got to travel and go to conferences to learn about other industries and companies.
• I made connections I would have never made going cold into the startup space.
• I learned what it took to build big, ambitious, software that's used by millions.
• I learned how to interview people.
• I learned how to bring on contractors and leverage them for short term projects.
• I learned how to work with international teams as part of shipping software and support.
• I met several great mentors that have been in and out of startups as well as big companies that continue to provide me with great advice today.

Little words

This article shed some interesting light on how (and maybe why) we use language.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/09/01/344043763/our-use-of-little-words-can-uh-reveal-hidden-interests?

It points out the tendency to use a lot of  "I" and "me" when speaking to someone of higher position, and the lack of those words in a reversed situation. Fascinating. Of course, it also made me think about the way I like to write, especially emails these days. Ever since the start I've always had a strong urge NOT to include pronouns, particularly not "I". Maybe it reflects my ... egalitarian attitude towards people and power. Taken positively, it means I respect everyone pretty much equally regardless of position or rank. Taken in a less-rosy way, it means I don't give a shit if you're my boss' boss, I will still talk to you as an equal and tell you what and where needs improvement.

I don't think that is the "Asian" way of management... I need to be careful. 

Byte

Because all good arguments and papers start with some sort of defination and parameter; because names carry a lot of undertow and weight; because this name took me several months to birth, here it is: 

id·i·o·syn·crat·ic

ˌidēəsiNGˈkratik,ˌidē-ō-/

adjective

1. of or relating to idiosyncrasy; peculiar or individual.

byte

bīt/

noun

COMPUTING

1. a group of binary digits or bits (usually eight) operated on as a unit.

   • a byte considered as a unit of memory size.

   
   

Here is where I toss, assemble, gather, weave, and reflect on bits and pieces of thoughts, moments, memories, monologues, dialogues, conversations, feelings, about my holy Eight: Food, Fears, Finance, Leadership, Relationships, Music, Crafts, and Travel. 

Welcome aboard. 

I promise not to bite (too hard).