Love byte

Another gem from Quora on the best feeling in the world. Not sure if this is my best feeling in the world, but I think it captures a lot about the love and relationship I want: the peaceful feeling of being understood and accepted for who you are + romance (butterflies?).

But the real answer for me is--this peaceful feeling.

I don’t know how to describe it, it feels like most of the time my guard is a bit up, you always test and figure out how people are around you, and it’s the peaceful calming feeling that the other person knows and accepts you for you.You feel at peace at once.

I feel this with extremely close friends, and it’s an added bonus when you like someone romantically—and you feel at complete ease coupled with this peaceful feeling—that’s when I know I feel something.


====
On another note, even though I initially denied it in the quick conversation with XX this morning, I think I am attracted to FB and scared of it. My head tells me this is really not the time to be thinking about a person when you are trying to figure your life out, so draw a line! But something else was holding me back from drawing that line, because what happens in your head hardly ever occurs the same way in reality. But... I did draw the line somewhat. I hope I don't regret anything.

Funny how denial and emotions work. In the past week, there was a lot of internal struggle to actually chat with FB - because I had some burning questions about career and life - and denying that I was attracted made things all the more difficult, and conversely, he popped up more often in my thoughts! That was very annoying. Instead, admitting now to myself that yes, I am attracted to him, I want to enjoy his company, I want to understand him more, may just be the cure for that. I really don't want anything romantic right now, but I really do want to be good friends. Funny because I usually don't feel this strong desire to become good friends with people, so it's hard now to actually try and pursue a friendship.

In short, I don't know how to make friends, because I don't think I really ever purposefully did so.
I am so pathetic sometimes. Heh. 

Habit

I found this lovely little byte on Quora today.

Remember, it takes time for a thing to become a habit, but once it does, it is not easy to leave it. 
If you knock off 'H' from it still 'a bit' remains;
even if you knock off 'a' still 'bit' remains;
& even if you knock off 'b' but still 'it' remains.

Let's make some good habits! 

----
Inspired by the one mile a day workout, recently I have started running one mile every other day at the company gym during lunch hour. I've also started making friends with the weights machines again. :)

Another good habit I am trying to maintain is to drink at least 2 litres of water per day. I think it worked wonders in the one week that I did.

A bad habit to kick would be the way I constantly pick at my face and neck blemishes when I'm bored and/or frustrated! 

On careers - A chat with S

For the past few months, I've been asking lots of friends, mentors, seniors, acquaintances, colleagues, etc about their job experience and what they find is important for them in a job.

I think today's chat with S was the most powerful one - he gave advice that I already knew or thought about too, but just hearing it from someone else who has lived through it, made it that much more striking in its truth. He was able to concisely sum up many points that I have gleaned from others, from my own pensive thoughts, and from all the combined wisdom of motivational articles and quora.

=======

On what he looks for in a job: 
"At our age, benefits, salary all the tangible ones are not important. It is the opportunity and chance to expand your skill and knowledge - the intangible ones - that is important. Those ar ethings that no one can take from you. And when you have them, you can use it to demand for the tangible aspects."

"The company size does not matter as much as the opportunity to learn and grow."

"Remember, work is a two-way thing: I work for you to learn, so you should guide me and I will work my best for you."

"Invest in experience now, not money. I've seen cases where people chose money over opportunities, and because of that, they now have a lower ceiling because they are limited by their skillset."

On being poached by G-gle and rejecting them. 
"Google has better benefits, but I felt they valued IT people more than engineers, so there would be less chance for me to learn. I am more valued at my present company because it is an engineering firm that values engineers."

On what type of skills and knowledge to learn and how
"What skills you want to learn and how to learn is between you and your manager. With experience, you will have a feel of what niche you want to do. Learn more. Read more. "

 He then explained on the different safety and audit courses he wanted to take up, which he did with his manager's support, and now his manager sees the increased value in him, worries about how to propose a suitable package for him, and wants to send him to Shanghai. (SO EXCITING!)


On what to do now that I'm still only 6 months into this role: 

"I recommend that you seek joint document work from other division to make it interesting."

"Make it obvious to your manager what you are doing."


On how and what to learn from managers: 
"Learn from good managers. Some managers are high up there for a reason. Get insights from them on what their future plans are, and align with it. Support your manager in your areas of interest that align with their plan. If the manager isn't good, don't waste your time."

"Don't let your manager control what you want to learn. Volunteer for projects which interest you, get to know what other departments do, and get involved. If you don't explore, you will not know what you like. But if you explore, you will realize that you don't have the experience to do the work, so then take up work at a low level to learn from bottom up. That way, you will get the breadth and experience."

"If your managers don't allow you to grow, which I have seen, it may mean that they have a ceiling too. So how could they help you if they cannot help themselves?"


On Time

"So you need to explore outside the comfort zone - it is scary, but bloody exciting."
"At your age, time is important. Time must be wisely used to top up your experience - and the skill and experience must be of good quality that reflects the various demands of the changing environment. Money should be secondary."

"Work to gain good experience. As you get it, a wonderful thing will happen: your work results will get noticed and you will go up and get what you deserve."

>> This reminds me of advice that my other awesome mentor, L, had given me as well. She had described her own experience of holding up the team and the team manager for 2 years without any due, but it all paid off in the end because she is performing brilliantly at her current role - something she would not have been able to do without those two unrecognized years.

"Don't throw time away - it is another form of a resource. Remember, money can be earned again, but time, you cannot replace."

"You are young. There is time to fail and come back up. Don't fail at old age. It would take so much more to come back up then."


On the Importance of Multi-Functional Skills and Cross-Disciplinary Understanding

"I have seen many senior experienced professionals who are commanding a high demand for the experience they have, and they all have the same background: When they were younger they tried out many different tasks to learn multiple disciplines. From there, they climbed the corporate ladder, and now when they speak with other chiefs, they can connect and truly understand the concerns of other departments. And they get better work results exactly because of their macro understanding.


On Where to Go Next/How to Proceed Next?


"Take the next safe path. Study, take a working holiday, do an overseas internship, apply for a job overseas, contact your university alumni."

"Do your research. List down what you want to learn. See what options are out there. Consider market demand and future outlooks, and align yourself to market needs. Read market reports and head hunter reports. Read reports of what top companies look for, what sort of skilled people the local government wants."

========

I felt so fired up after this chat - all done via Whatsapp! - and I suddenly knew for sure that I needed to check out the Leaving A- page. At that point in time I was so sure that I did not want to stay any longer at company A. But after a much-needed three hour nap (thinking about life is tiring!) I think I am more rational now and I realize I do need to plot my path out. There are still things that I want to learn and can learn from the company. We will have to see how it'll go. At the same time, I've become very conscious and slightly pressured by time as well: it seems infinitely better to make a switch at 26 than at 27. Or is it just me?

Still have to chew on this. I keep swinging between the three most possible options now that it's so tiring. Every hour brings about a different conclusion. 

To-cook list!

This yummy sounding green bean casserole from: http://www.ourlifeisbeautiful.com/2013/12/thanksgiving-2013.html

+

Seaweed fritters!
- from The King of Food episode 13. :) 

Let loose!

I think this was the first time I clubbed for 3.5 straight hours and let loose like that. Two bottles of Jaegermeister (and countless Red Bulls), Macs breakfast, a 3-4 hour walk around downtown Singapore to sober up.

That was awesome!

---
This was followed by watching floorball on Saturday night, then dinner with floorball friends, and Sun Ray Cafe lunch + Art Jamming + So Pho on Sunday with the lovely BGF. I am so excited about my painting haha.

Also, I was scrolling through Facebook for some more photos to turn into paintings and bam, I stumbled across my first photo album in Japan, and stumbled across how insanely poetic I was. Wow. I surprise myself sometimes. First poetic prose for cryptic photographs and now acrylic painting?? I should be living in a hipster village next. 

Career Advice

Sometimes Quora gives fantastic career advice - it has even got me to stay put for now.

The answer below was for the question: a startup or Microsoft? But really, it can be applied to any big name companies I think I will start looking at the list of what else I can learn to do on their dime while I'm still at this company. :)

So far, I have:
- Honed my writing skills (but still far from where I want to be)
- Learned how to bring the right people together to change processes.
- To consolidate data and spot trends to provide effective feedback
- Developed phone skills - English and Mandarin.
- Picked up sufficient Business Japanese.
- Got started off in stocks and finance.
- Acquired one amazing mentor, and several wonderful friends.

====================
1. Fail and educate yourself on Microsofts dime. Don't just be a corporate drone. Work your tail off. Learn shit. Try crazy things... even if you don't get permission to do so at Microsoft. See what sticks. At Microsoft I managed my career as if management were my VCs. 

• I used their "funding" to work on cool stuff that I wanted to learn.
• I learned how to manage people (and fail at managing people) without having to pay them myself.
• I got to travel and go to conferences to learn about other industries and companies.
• I made connections I would have never made going cold into the startup space.
• I learned what it took to build big, ambitious, software that's used by millions.
• I learned how to interview people.
• I learned how to bring on contractors and leverage them for short term projects.
• I learned how to work with international teams as part of shipping software and support.
• I met several great mentors that have been in and out of startups as well as big companies that continue to provide me with great advice today.

Little words

This article shed some interesting light on how (and maybe why) we use language.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/09/01/344043763/our-use-of-little-words-can-uh-reveal-hidden-interests?

It points out the tendency to use a lot of  "I" and "me" when speaking to someone of higher position, and the lack of those words in a reversed situation. Fascinating. Of course, it also made me think about the way I like to write, especially emails these days. Ever since the start I've always had a strong urge NOT to include pronouns, particularly not "I". Maybe it reflects my ... egalitarian attitude towards people and power. Taken positively, it means I respect everyone pretty much equally regardless of position or rank. Taken in a less-rosy way, it means I don't give a shit if you're my boss' boss, I will still talk to you as an equal and tell you what and where needs improvement.

I don't think that is the "Asian" way of management... I need to be careful. 

Byte

Because all good arguments and papers start with some sort of defination and parameter; because names carry a lot of undertow and weight; because this name took me several months to birth, here it is: 

id·i·o·syn·crat·ic

ˌidēəsiNGˈkratik,ˌidē-ō-/

adjective

1. of or relating to idiosyncrasy; peculiar or individual.

byte

bīt/

noun

COMPUTING

1. a group of binary digits or bits (usually eight) operated on as a unit.

   • a byte considered as a unit of memory size.

   
   

Here is where I toss, assemble, gather, weave, and reflect on bits and pieces of thoughts, moments, memories, monologues, dialogues, conversations, feelings, about my holy Eight: Food, Fears, Finance, Leadership, Relationships, Music, Crafts, and Travel. 

Welcome aboard. 

I promise not to bite (too hard).