Monday, January 4, 2016

Birthday Grace

On my birthday, I give thanks to the events, the relationships, and the thoughts that took me this far - and have farther to go.

Thankful for...
... colleagues who helped me out today without complaining; reminding me it's time to leave; and for even finishing up my unfinished work so I could enjoy my birthday dinner in peace.
... family who are safe and healthy, and chasing their own dreams. Each day I teach myself to let go of them, and more importantly, the guilt just a little more, and one day, I will fly.
... friends who take me out with heart and feed my stomach and my soul.

I am glad I am able to treat my mum and grandparents to a meal. I am glad they are of good enough health to join me with smiles. I am touched by the pride I see in their eyes, when they commented "We used to take you guys out for dinner, but now it's the reverse."

I am thankful for my mum who is slowly learning to stand on her own two feet again, and for her being grateful for my existence. I am thankful for the brother who sends his love all the way from half the world away - I will try my best to always be a sister you look up to, but more importantly, one who is there for you, no matter where I am. I am thankful for my father who though unwell, keeps loving in his own little ways  - like punctual birthday messages and random down jackets for the "cold countries you're going to visit" (was I?? but that doesn't matter now - it's an omen for sure!)

I am grateful for friendships - for friends who meet up every 6 months and then for two days in a row; for friends who send their wishes from UK, Finland, Germany, Japan, Korea, China, US, Taiwan, etc; for friends who make dinner plans for when they are going to be in town; for friends from whom I have to wrangle out free dinner treats (haha); for friends who traverse the island with me every weekend in search of good food; for friends who remind me to have fun and go fishing in Batam; for friends who teach me to reset my expectations every weekend at floorball; for friends who show me life is good, and walk alongside me.

I am grateful for work, and to have work. Work that I can immerse myself in even though sometimes I unconsciously allow it to completely drain me and fill me up with negativity instead. No matter what, that is part of my learning journey, and I am learning - about the world, about people, about myself.

I am thankful for the things, the people, and the aspects of myself I have let go of, and will let go of. Fulfilled relationships and friendships, job scopes I grew out of, tough times that toughened me up, and pride. O Pride, I am still struggling with you, but gladly take you on.

And of course, health. Health health health. Comparatively, last year has been a generally injury-free and problem-free year compared to the previous two years - and for that I am deeply grateful. Nothing like having cornea ulcers and torn ligaments to remind you of the greatest, hidden treasure in life. 

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